Warty Hugeman and the Mad Professor of Treisio Island

story idea by the delicious BakedPenguin

"Stay right where you are, Hugeman! I can destroy this entire island at the speed of thought!" Professor Frobisher gestured and banks of auto-guns slid out from recesses in all the walls of the laboratory. Warty pushed his tongue against his front teeth to activate the HUD in his visual implants. The time interference was back, like in Rome. He couldn't jump away, or slow time down to a crawl. The professor had him.

"Yes, Hugeman. You are trapped here," the professor said. His urbane speech and mild manner was in sharp contrast to the subtle whines and clicks of the guns staying on target as Warty leaned forward in a defensive posture.

"You were my father's friend, professor. You've known me since I was a child. Why are you doing this?" Warty asked.

"Because you are the last remaining vestige of his legacy and I intend for everyone to know what kind of man your father really was!" Frobisher laughed maniacally. Warty tried to keep from rolling his eyes.

"Is this because of the sex-change, Professor? It was just a college prank. My father told me they reattached your penis the next morning." Warty had heard the story half-a-hundred times from his father, who had even showed him pictures of the gaping mangina they carved into meat of Frobisher's pelvis, his frightened scrotum hunched below it like a chafed walnut.

"I am very comfortable with my sexuality, Hugeman!"

"Of course you are," Warty said. He held his hands up and dozens of laser sights blossomed all over his timesuit.

"Don't humor me, Hugeman! I'm going to unleash a plague upon this universe, a plague of you!"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm going to use this to clone an army of Warty Hugemen!" Frobisher held up a glass vial triumphantly. Warty could see a tiny scrap of skin in it and immediately knew what it was.

"No, Professor! If you use my foreskin to clone me, it will mean the death of everything! The timestream simply cannot withstand that level of rugged cockfucking! The walls of reality will be torn apart like a clingwrap condom!"

"You just watch me, Hugeman. Watch me splatter all of existence with the hot semen of my justice!" Frobisher slammed the vial home in the console beside him. Warty didn't know where the Professor had obtained a hyperwomb bioreactor, but he had seen the results of one being used on a future version of Earth. Utter devastation resulted as the bioreactor turned the entire planet into giant vagina that tried to impregnate itself with Venus.

"Too late, too late!" the professor screeched as he danced around the laboratory. The bioreactor shat out the first of the neuWarty Hugemen. It tore itself free of its incubator membrane and stood naked and dripping. Another and another came out, until a dozen Warty Hugemen stood around the giggling doctor.

"Go my Hugemen," Frobisher screamed. "Go forth and destroy!" The assembled gooey Hugemen did nothing.

"Go! I made you! Do my bidding!"

"I don't think so, Professor," they all said in unison, half-formed vocal cords croaking out the words, as they advanced on him.

"You shouldn't have used my foreskin, Frobisher," Warty said. "No human alive has ever had more conscious control over their penis than me; even the parts removed are still mine to direct."

"No!" Frobisher screamed.

Warty nodded at the Hugemen. They fell upon the doctor like a cockhungry starlet.

THE END